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June 27, 2008 -

Divorce360.com Asks If Birth Order Can Indicate Whether your Marriage Will Work Out -- or Not?

"There is strong connection between birth order and divorce rates," explained John Curtis, Ph. D. "This has been studied very well from a psychological stand point. The most successful marriages are those where the oldest sister of brothers marries the youngest brother of sisters."
Dr. Kevin Leman concur, "first borns are leaders. When you talk marriages of first borns, that is two sheep butting heads for territorial rights. It’s a bad match."
But what if you are an only child? "The highest divorce rates are when an only child marries an only child," said Curtis. "An only child is used to being the center of attention. And when the only child marries another only child, usually it’s hard for them to share the spotlight."
According to studies, the couples with the best chances are those who come from the middle of the pack. "The middle children are more stable and ultimately healthier than the other ones. And when you get [a middle child] that marries one it often results in a stable relationship where there is not a lot of melodrama."
Are you compatible? 5 tips to find out:
1. Draw a Family Birth-Order Map - List all siblings and current relationship status, i.e. single, married, divorced!
2. Examine Personalities - List the top three adjectives both positive and negative that describe your childhood personalities. Are they keeping with the stereotypical images of 1st borns, baby of the family or only child?
3. Define History – Do these characteristics explain your current relationship status/history? Example: your whinny younger sister is on her 3rd divorce.
4. Recognize Shortcomings - Identify the top personality traits that might cause conflict. Example: I was the baby in the family and felt spoiled, but I have come to realize that always getting my way will hurt our relationship.
5. Celebrate Your Strengths - Identify the top personality traits that might help improve your relationship. Example: I was the first born in the family and took on a lot of responsibility early in life, and I can assure you that you can count on me to take responsibility to keep our relationship happy and healthy.

Entire article here: http://www.divorce360.com/articles/586/two-first-borns-bad-match.aspx divorce360.com