Motivational Tips: Dreams after Divorce

    When I was married I was made to feel incompetent, that I couldn’t do anything right and that I wasn’t very worthy. I felt challenged on many emotional levels and had no idea I could ever accomplish anything of any value. It’s a common condition among people in controlling relationships. After the divorce, I became a single mother. It was tough coping with divorce. The thing I need to do more than anything was “find myself.” 

Since that time I’ve discovered I like to write and I love speaking professionally. During the years of my turbulent marriage I could never have dreamed of standing before a group of people and having that kind of courage. But now it’s something I not only crave, I know I’m destined to do more and more of.  

Then I discovered the “musical” side of my creativity. When I found out that American Idol had launched a songwriting contest during their sixth season I hammered my talented son-in-law, singer-songwriter Leslie Bowe, to write a song. He hemmed and hawed, but I pulled out all of the mother-in-law arsenal I could round up, even suggesting a concept and title for a song. He relented and the next day Les woke up with the melody and – surprise! – he then invited me to write the lyrics with him. The result: The mesmerizing, soaring ballad, “Here I Am.” This “closet lyricist,” who had never written any lyrics down on paper before, had participated in the creation of a very beautiful song.  

Songwriting. Unknown territory to me until just a few months ago. Now I can’t seem to get enough of it.  

What if I had decided to play it SAFE when that opportunity arose? What if I had allowed my lack of experience to sway me into not even trying?  What if the fear of being compared to thousands of talented pros had stopped me dead in my tracks?   

Well, for one thing, my very first song, which recently won the International Grand Prize for best song in Australia, wouldn’t have been written (I have great hopes that someone amazing, like Whitney Houston records the song!). Secondly, the SECOND song I ever wrote called “If Only For Today” just took top 10 in the world for the International Song of Peace in Ireland.  

It took stepping into the unknown to realize a myriad of possibilities…proving it’s never too late to pursue a dream, a goal, or a fantasy.

Perhaps your “unknown” is similar, and has to do with exploring your creativity. Perhaps your “unknown” has to do with leaving something or someone behind and forging ahead to new opportunities, new places, a new you. What is your unknown?  

Every morning that you are blessed to wake up, you are faced with a clean slate on which to fill in the blanks of the unknown. It is really up to you. Find the courage, let go of the fear, trust that life is unfolding just as it should be, and know that the direction you are going in is good. And if where you are right now is NOT where you want to be, CHANGE IT! Step into the unknown with conviction and faith. Wondrous possibilities await you.

Nancy Vogl began a company in the early 90’s promoting motivational speakers including former First Lady Barbara Bush, Bobby Knight and Al Roker. Nancy is the author of several books, including "Am I a Color Too?," co-written with her daughter, as well as "Chicken Soup for the Single Parent’s Soul."