By DR. PAMELA THOMPSON
Q: We seem to have lost a lot of the fun and spontaneity of our earlier marriage. We've been together for 15 years, have two kids and have no outstanding problem other than boredom. Does this mean our marriage is in trouble?
Unfortunately, we live in a world that has come to expect new and improved stimulation and excitement/interruption/distraction on a regular, sometimes daily, sometimes hourly basis. When compared to the ever changing world around us via the latest, greatest technology, a solid marriage that has developed a certain routine can begin to look boring, dispensable, and in need of an upgrade.
The truth is that marriage can be boring at times, that life can be boring at times. My best guess is that your lives require a certain routine at this time that may have you feeling boxed in right now. Without the benefit of additional information, I recommend that you appreciate the rest of routine (living on auto-pilot has its advantages), and work on planning new adventures for the future (e.g., traveling to exotic places, beginning a hobby together, participating in volunteerism and serving community needs).
I think that when we're bored with self and each other, the chances are pretty good that we're focusing too much on self rather than on how we can develop meaningful, purposeful lives in service to others.
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