My Story ::  dreamsoflove

How Did You Meet?

We met on an internet dating site.

Describe your marriage before the problem.

it's been rocky from the start

Tell us how you first realized you had a problem.

when every single event had to involve alcohol and getting either buzzed or drunk.

What did you do about it or if you have not done anything yet, why?

I haven't done anything yet, because of guilt.  We have had numerous arguments about this and he says I am the only one who has a problem with this, and he isn't hurting anyone, so it's me who has the problem not him.  I am embarrassed to admit to family that I made a mistake, and don't want to seem like a failure.  I always attract the wrong men, and they are usually alcoholics.  I have been told that alcoholics can spot an enabler wherever they are.  And I guess that's me.  And now I am in this and feel stuck.  Feelings of guilt for getting rid of him and worried about the effect on his children, and my daughter.  He will bend over backwards for me in every way, most likely to make me not want to leave and to minimize the alcoholism.  That I am this ungratful woman who just wants to nag about his drinking when it's not really a problem.  I'm sorry, but when there is alcohol around...he's either buzzed or drunk...there's a problem.  He is irresponsible, that's what alcoholics are.

If you're not yet divorced, what is your greatest fear?

Fear of social outcast.  From my church and family.

If you're not yet divorced, what two tips would you share with others?

Wait to get to know and become true friends with the person you will marry, go with your gut feeling about the person.  And don't ignore your true feelings because you feel it's time to be in a relationship again because you are lonely.  Join a club or group if you are lonely.

If your divorce is final, what was the hardest part of the divorce?

If your divorce is final, what two tips would you share with others?