It's ALIIIIVE!

  Hello! It's been a long time since I posted anything. Truthfully, it's been a while since I've haunted these parts, but I miss you folks!

  After two weeks of living through a hellish flu and a secondary bacterial infection, I'm back in action! Vegas was awesome and a good time was had by all. Well, that is to say, all two of us! Lots of good food, drink, shows, and fun. For those of you who couldn't make it (ahem, all but one of ya), we should plan to go next year. Good times!

  Now that life is returning to normal, all of the old ghosts are coming back to haunt me. What if my job falls through in these tough times? What if, after having to basically sacrifice a paycheck during my sick time, something awful happens and I have no money to cover it? What if my roommate doesn't want to re-sign the lease with me next year and I'm up a creek? What if I don't have the balls to go through with school? Know how much sleep I got last night thinking of all this? I'm on my third cup of coffee after only two hours of work.

  And, as far as the divorce stuff goes, I haven't had the time to fill out the paperwork to file at the courthouse due to being so sick. I will get it done by the end of this week, my stbx will file them, and then we play the waiting game. Wanna know what's weird? We get along better now than we have since we were dating. Does this prove we're better as friends...or does give a hint of even more "what ifs?"

  Yes, I have a case of the "what ifs." I awlays have. It's difficult for me to live in the moment as I was brought up to get things done yesterday. My parents are a huge influence in that aspect, but when the hell do I learn to break free of that and just breathe? At 31 years old, I still fell about 15. Life is finally starting to take on a shape of it's own for me and my parents' lessons and rules don't really apply anymore...and it's freaky!Le sigh. Just a rant, I guess.

   May the Schwartz be with you all...