He didn't make it to our session again!

You must be in a very painfull place...

To be honest you deserve better. You cant be the only one wanting things to work out... and clearly if he has cancelled again then hes not all that keen on making things work.

Also, if you havent seen him much in the last month perhaps ask yourself why. If he really wanted it to work then he would have at very least wanted to spend a bit more time with you.

You can do better. Its that simple. I know its painfull and hard to look into the future from the place your at but just imagine what you could be missing out on by being his doormat!

Perhaps if you need to, give it one last go. Tell him your about to leave for good if he doesnt start making an effort... see if anything changes - if it doesnt then i think you have your answer.

DG - I think you know the answer.  You been hanging on for a thread of any hope.  It's starting to sound like he's keeping one foot on his foundation (you) and using the other foot to check around before he makes his leap.

And he's been gone for what almost 3 mos.?  And you've seen him for one hour in the last month.

 

Stop torturing yourself.  It sucks when you want something with someone so bad but a some point you've got to come to a realization and see that maybe that other party isn't willing to be there.

I'm so sorry about your pain but the longer you wait for this guy and are sad, you're going to be really angry if he doesn't come back around.  Don't be his doormat no more.  Not another day.  Start doing what you need to do.

DG- his asking for the name/number for the counselor is just his way of buying time for himself it seems like.  We find ourselves buying into what our ex's/partners are selling because we want to. We see words as commitments because we are "good to our word". He has not been. Amen to the phrase " Actions speak louder than words". Hear his actions not his words. Take a deep breath and be ready for your next step. I know we all want to hang on to hope which is what they are giving us with this kind of behavior but at some point we all have to realize that there may be no hope of them changing and once we do that's our cue to change. Good luck.

Keep going for yourself.  I did that   He never went.

Sounds like you have tried! But he has to also!
At some point he will realize but more than likely it will be too late!
Hang in there- once your decision is made you will feel better and won't be in such a state of limbo!

Thank you for your comments!  One note:  he did request the name and contact number for the counselor so that he could make an appointment time that was convenient for "both" of us.  I sent him that info in a text this morning, no response thanky you or otherwise, so we shall see.

There comes a time when we have this little gut feeling inside that is most of the time right. You need to acess your feelings on the actions that he is showing you to see whether you feel it's going to work or not. Actions DO speak louder than words, and it takes both of you to make it work again. Take care.

we all know that actions speak louder than words....but knowing it, living it, hurting from it, and finally accepting it.....are very different things.

i'm sorry he is doing this and treating you this way.  but at some point we all have to stand up for ourselves and demand to be treated with dignity and respect....at the very least with the same basic kindness one would show a total stranger, right?