Did it again! 

Sounds like he has his justfication for his affair and nothing you say is going to change that.  Don't put yourself in that predicament of opening your heart and soul to him, open your heart and soul to yourself.

Believe it or not, life will go on after divorce.  The world's time won't skip a beat, you're kids will continue growing, so the best thing you can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep up in this world.  It will get better in time, you will be happy again.

Hi JMNY -

I would like to suggest that you start a journal.  Its just a  book where you write down your feelings. I journal.  It is a way not only to vent, but to track what is going on inside our heads.  We can look back through our journals over time, read old journal entries and see how much we have grown.  It is an invaluable tool. 

Many of the replies you have received here are versions of the journal idea.  I use pretty little notebooks that are sold at the $1 store with lovely patterns and such on the covers.  They have lined pages but are otherwise blank.  I also happen to type fast so sometimes I journal on the computer, print it and fold it into my current journal book.  I don't save them on the computer so no one else can see them.  They are private. 

Whenever I am feeling low or a specific issue is bothering me I can pull out my journal and see when it bugged me last and what I thought at that time.  It really helps me to get through difficult times without losing my mind over it.

Hope this helps.
Best -
Lisa

Hey you!................  I did that a few times and recieved the same result.  It just isn't worth the effort, but I did it again and again.  I haven't done it since August, and it represents I guess, that I am growing apart from her, thank goodness.

They feel as victims in this scenario.  They feel it is our fault, that they just had to do what they have done.  A twisted mind can only reason as such.  They have no values.  My wife is with a married man, whose wife is in a nursing home.  No values.

I feel your anguish and your frustration right now.  But tomorrow is another day, and with it brings a fresh burst of enthusiasim!  You have the greatest gift anyone could ever possess, that of raising 4 children.  Even though you may encounter the occasional fall, you will always reap the rewards of parenthood.  You are the glue that keeps your family together and you are not a quiter.  The difficulties you face now, strengthen your mind as labour does the body.  Belief is power.  Always believe that you will live, laugh and love again,  full cirlce, because you will.  This is only a change of circumstance which you and your children can grow from.  All 5 of you will draw closer and rely on the strength that comes from you.

We must recognize that this time is ours to heal and adjust accordingly.  We must hinder the thoughts of our unfaithfull spouses and devote time to ourselves because we are worth it.

hang in there - I am in the same sucky boat as you are.  4 kids, 14 years married.  He left me for another woman, but she has since dumped him.  He is very actively dating now and wants no parts of our marrige.  I find myself trying to find out who he is seeing, what he is doing, etc., and it is eating me alive.  I have to stop and so do you.  I promise to try to not text him if you will do the same??  They simply are not worth our time or energy.  Stay strong.

I so understand how your are feeling.  I would get some email from Mr. X guaranteed to get a reaction out of me.  Then, when I did react, he would act like, "There you go again..." 

My daughter, a young woman wise beyond her 23 years, sat down with me and said, "Mom, we all know the kind of person Dad is.  Sometimes, YOU have to be the better person, even when he is being a jerk, again."  She went on to tell me that if I felt I had to respond or write one of those emails, to save it in drafts for 24 hours before sending.  Since then, mostly I have done that.  It helps me ignore him when he is being deliberately provocative.  He doesn't get a reaction out of me, so he doesn't get to pretend that it's really all my fault. 

The next time you're feeling sad and lonely, write him the email, but do NOT send it.  Save it away in your drafts.  Better yet, write him a letter and write out all the things you'd like to say to him, all the hurt he's done to you, all the feelings of betrayal and pain.  When you're finished with it, shred it or burn it.  Let God and the Universe take care of it!  It will help you heal, while not giving him any power.

Hugs to you.  Hope it helps!  You can even vent here to us!  Believe me!  We understand!

You will feel so much better when you don't give into sending emails you will begin to heal. Make yourself sit down and write a letter that you will never send get it out on paper.Find a friend you can talk to at night to keep you off the computer. 
It is so true wether you like it or not you are getting a divorce. It is painful, allow yourself the time you need to heal and mourn, find a support group. He has moved on he is not going to feel the emotions you want him to.

Its hard but you will get there about the divorce.  Also don't email him it isn't helpful and only puts you in a bad light.  Just don't do it.  If you have to stay off the computer to control yourself.  I don't know if its true for you but I fixated on him for to long after he walked out, I should have been focused on me.  I am at the place now where I think about him maybe once or twice a day, and then snap myself out. 

We can all say something bad about the person we werre married to so he probably isn't wrong he could say things but he doesn't.  So follow his lead yes you want to say so many things to them rail at them get some answers but the truth is those answers are not going to help you heal.  You need to start the process now, and one step is letting him go.  I know its hard.  You aren't even really processing you are getting divorced.  But its coming don't allow yourself to think otherwise start planning and preparing yourself for this event. 

It gets easier once you stop making the focus of your daily life this person.  The urges to send those emails will be there but come up with something to do.  I worked out when I had thoughts of calling and texting my STBX.  I never felt like calling or texting after so it worked.  You just need to start working on making yourself strong and moving past this feeling of lonliness, and emptyness.