How am I supposed to feel? 

You tell them blue, wonderful wonderful post.  You feel like you are feeling and you dont' have to justify to anyone anything.  You don't have to explain or make anyone understand.  Good for you, I'm proud of you for letting yourself just feel.  I am flaming mad at so many people and I don't a damn what people think.  I am where I am and I feel what I feel, when I'm ready I shall move foward to whatever.  Many blessing to you.

You're absolutely right, Bluebird, but concern over how you're feeling isn't necessarily a put down to the fact that you feel that way.  It could be concern over how your are feeling.  This whole process is rarely one that we would have chosen for ourselves.  We're down, we're angry, we're hurt, we think we're healing and getting better, but then we seem to be back to square one.

There is no right way to feel for any of us.  Where we are and how we're feeling and/or dealing with the whole situation depends upon a lot of things, including time.

Just want to say, though, that when you're obviously in pain, it isn't wrong, but I DO feel badly for you, because I know that pain, too.  Hugs to you, Bluebird.

Hi BlueBird -

How am I supposed to feel?  Anyway I feel.  My emotions are mine. There is no right or wrong. There are no good or bad emotions.

Excellent!!  This is a wonderful post.  Feelings aren't facts...   the fact is you're feeling...  and feeling is what recovery is all about.  Allowing ourselves to feel whatever it is we need to feel to get through the morass of pain and loss and out the other side. 

Great work!
Best -
Lisa

Emotions..we are unique in that the range varies as well as how we deal with them.  You will find your range...I am the same.  I do not want anyone to tell me how long I should feel one way or the other...I am in conflict...I want what they say to end the wave of emotions I feel...but only I can do that.  I tell myself it won't be like this for long..how long, I don't know my time frame may be different than others..just like my emotions are. You are working on you and finding out about you.  HUGS to you..take care!!

Emotions are wonderfull, it's what makes us human.  Emotions are feelings, no other creature on earth has emotions like humans.  When we think of attitudes, we all have an attitude (disposition, opinion)......they have an emotional component attatched to them.  Emotions can take us to extreme highs and extreme lows.  We have all been there and back.  Circumstances have an enormous affect on our emotions.  Doctors try to stablize the emotions through the use of anti-depressants and counseling which sometimes help. 

We are emotional beings.  We all have a different structure of emotions that must be mastered and controlled.  I, like you am striving to do just that.  I must say that I am learning more about myself than I care to know.  Emotions are like a wild beast, and it just takes time to capture them and put them to good use. 

Emotions help us to understand and aid others who are suffering.  They encourage us to grasp justice and the rule of law.  The benefits of emotions outweigh the negatives.  Strangely we spend more time dwelling on the negatives.  Eventually, through perseverence and care, we will once again dwell on the positive aspects of our emotions. 

You are right.  We are all entitled to our emotions.  We are all different and may view things differently than others would.  Thats what makes us who we are.  What matters is how we act on our emotions.  I've told someone once, never make a choice you can't live with and never let anyone push you into choices that are not right for you.  Part of that is knowing who you are and doing what matters to you.  You are the most important person you have to like. 
Life is about learning.  We are always learning. 
The last two years have been particularly hard for me and I've learned so much about what I like about me. Mistakes I have made that I need to let go of because they are in the past.  Choices I have made that may or may not have been in my best interest but for each choice I felt it was in the best interest for all involved.  Even for bad choices we can recover because we know what is important to us.  Hold tight to what is important.    
Hugs to you.

I agree your emotions are your own.  I think people start to worry about us and tell us how we should feel because they think enough time has past that we should be doing better getting past these feelings.  I have great days.  I purposely have taken 4 days off of work they are days owed back to me to get through 4 days of being alone.  Its been good for the most part, and one of the days was the 4 month mark.  However there are times when thoughts creep in and I do a technique I read about it sounds silly but oddly enough works.  I take a deep breath imagine a cord going from me to the person my STBX then I imagine me cutting it with what ever I decide then watch that cord disappear.  Sounds silly I felt silly the first time I did this but oddly felt better after.  I find myself having to do it less and less often. 

But I know what you mean I have found my mom and sister are tired, and I respect that.  They ask me how I am doing and I say fine its true I am fine.  I find myself asking more and more about them and what is going on with them.  I want to hear about their lives the good and bad. 

I think all of us have those moments where people tell us how we should feel and you want to say, well your not me.  But that wouldn't be polite but also if you do say it I doubt you would feel good.