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He moves out on Monday 

     Well, it's finally time.  D will be moving out of here on Monday.  He told me that he plans on moving out while I am at work.  On Friday, he tried to talk me into letting him stay here for another month.  I said no.  We had a huge fight.  I stood my ground and calmly told him I would be going out for a few hours so I could go to the gym.  I figured that would help me feel better.  It did and he was asleep when I got home, so I did not even have to deal with him for a few hours. 

 

     I am glad that I told him no.  He already talked me into waiting two months.  I am not going to go through another month of living with a man who hates me.  I can just picture Thanksgiving!  Yuck.  He is so ungrateful and feels like the world owes him.  We have all done him wrong, I guess.  He got a traffic ticket for doing something stupid and complained about the other drivers on the road, the cop who wrote him the ticket, and the high fine he has to pay.  He makes it sound like he was not even in the car.  He takes no responsibility for his own actions.

 

     He said so many mean things.  They stay with me for days afterward.  I hate that "c" word.  No man should call his wife that.  I am not wild about being called a bi*** either, but somehow it's a less ugly word to me. 

 

     Right now I am just so relieved.  I will look forward to coming home now that I know it will be peaceful and quiet.  No more temper tantrums.  No more walking on eggshells.

by meteor  488 Posts 

Posted on 11/1/2009 12:15 AM
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Comments for "He moves out on Monday"  (11) (You must be logged in to answer)




You guys probably will not be surprised by this...he's still here!  He moved a load of stuff into the new place, after getting lost for an hour on the way there.  He came back to the apartment and went to sleep.  Imagine my surprise when I came home from work at midnight to find him still here.  He's sleeping now, of course.  He asked if I could loan him some money until he gets paid next Friday.  This man is unbelievable.  I told him the truth, which is that I have about $5 to live on until I get paid in two days. 

     So, he might just be here until Thursday morning when I can give him some cash to buy food, etc. for his new place.  Just when I think that he can't do anything more to tick me off...well, at least there is an end in sight now.  If he sticks around a couple of more days, I am getting something out of it.  Use of his car to do some errands today will be a good start.
by meteor   488 Posts
Posted on 11/3/2009 1:59 PM
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Hi Meteor -

There is a blog on Psychology Today written by Steven Stosny called Anger in the Age of Entitlement.  It is all about people who behave the way you describe your stbx and why they do the things they do.  Here is the link  https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement .  I hope you take the time to read some of Steven's posts.  He really is excellent and has a unique view of anger issues that I think you might find interesting. 

Let me know what you think.

Best -
Lisa
by Lisa Cannon   
Posted on 11/2/2009 10:09 PM
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Glad you have some peace coming your way. Good for you on sticking to your guns and standing up for yourself.
by militaryp   2950 Posts
Posted on 11/2/2009 7:52 PM
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Hey, hey, hey! It's about time, don't you think?

Good for you sticking to your guns and not agreeing to yet another month of his crap!

Take care, my friend. And look forward to enjoying some peaceful holidays this year.
by jhs   555 Posts
Posted on 11/2/2009 4:18 PM
1





The first time my husband called me the "c" word I couldn't believe it.  I told him to listen carefully because if he ever, ever called me that again I would file for divorce.  His reply:  You don't need grounds to file for divorce. 

3 months later I told him to get out. 

When he moved I felt like I'd hit the jackpot in Vegas -- I was so happy. 
I hired an interior designer and fixed up my house after the papers were signed.

Yours sounds so immature that he might give you some trouble...mine wanted a lot of money.... keep us posted and enjoy the peace!!
by TexasPam   30 Posts
Posted on 11/2/2009 1:03 PM
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My kids still talk about how different it is without the ex living here!  Enjoy the quiet, and the clam.  Learn for next time.  Try and figure out what made you fall for this loser in the first place, so you don't repeat this.
by billie2t   38 Posts
Posted on 11/2/2009 10:31 AM
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Good for you, Meteor...you will feel so much better once he is out. At least, I hope you do...in my case, I felt a bit anxious but that only last a few days....all I had to do was remember how he was ruining us financially and his immaturity....and I would snap out of any funk I may have been in!!


I am now almost 6 months w/ stbxh gone...and once I started removing any vestiges of him around (I changed the drapes, painted rooms, bought some new furniture, etc) the house...really started to feel re-energized...I hope the same happens in your case.


Keep moving forward....


by zuki   685 Posts
Posted on 11/2/2009 5:06 AM
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I feel your pain for I live with someone who calls me the "c" word and been called b, a useless piece of s, and on and on.   He even has called his children names.  I remember calling my kids asking if he was home so I would know what to expect when I came in...the anger, name calling and on & on.  I identify with the nap for knowing there will be peace.

Stand your grounds..you make me believe that I can take the stance.  I wait for the day I can turn the key in the lock and know what to expect..peace..it seems like a dream. Stand proud for you, believing not wanting to live like this any longer!
by Joyful   237 Posts
Posted on 11/1/2009 6:45 PM
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Thank you, kevin and sjq.  I agree that we moved in together too quickly(we lived together before we got married) and then marriage just seemed like the logical next step.  It will take a lot of time, trust, and communication before I ever live with a man again.  I won't rule out getting married again, but it will have to be a very different kind of relationship, based on respect and communication.

     D blows up and gets angry when he is the one who has done something wrong.  The traffic ticket cost him $130 and he had over $200 in overdraft fees from the bank.  I realize that he did not do these things on purpose.  I just wish he would stop blaming others when he messes up.  He screwed up, then tries to make me out to be the bad guy.
by meteor   488 Posts
Posted on 11/1/2009 11:49 AM
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Good for you for standing your ground. It is hard to do sometimes, or for me it is. I hate seeing myself as the bad guy, yet in reality I am not being the bad guy, I am taking care of myself.
by sjg   1766 Posts
Posted on 11/1/2009 7:15 AM
1





Why did you move in together and get married?  The signs were there and you ignored them.  These are very big decisions in life, you treated them quite casually with bad consequenses. 

Now you must focus on yourself, health, get your house in order, and get all the division of things accomplished with him.  Communication is the fuel which drives a union for decades.  Your next relationship should be centered on great communication.  Sex is a tiny part of the union, but so wholesome.  Keep sex in it's proper place, it shouldnot consume all the attention. 

The way we handle our problems define who we are.  So decide wisely from now on.  The difficulties have strengthened your mind as labour does the body.  Your past can now be viewed as valuable experience, you can use it accordingly. 

All we ask for in life, is love, security and excitement.  Why is that so hard to achieve?  I think it's because our world has placed pressures on our generation which our ancestors never experienced.  Also, our world has become so complex, it must be redefined often.  Keep your thoughts on positve things, grow from your trials, and seek a simple life as Mr. Gandai said way back in the 30's.  Be well, Meteor.
by kevinwo   732 Posts
Posted on 11/1/2009 1:25 AM
1







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