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Faking orgasms 

Why do women fake orgasms? That is something I could never understand. You hear about it a lot but Ive often wondered why? Telling your partner what you want really isn't that difficult. If you are intimate enough to lay naked with this person and have sex, isn't it your obligation (for yourself) to tell them what you want if what they are doing isn't working for you? You would be surprised at how many men really love this kind of feedback. Its much better than them trying and not hitting the spot, then you end up faking it (not me but some..id rather him find the spot), and he feels like he has totally rocked your world. Yes, it does wonders for their ego but its taught them nothing. There are men that don't care whether you climax or not, but that's not the majority. And the few that Ive been with, didn't get a sequel.

 

In thinking back, Ive only offended one man (that I know of) and we had been together for a while. The reason, I was tired of needing to satisfy myself before we had sex. I don't know if he was lazy, selfish, or just thought he didn't need to doing anything but my exact words to him were, "Don't you know what you're doing?" True, it takes a little longer for a woman to have an orgasm but so what. Woman are aroused by touch, intimacy, and lots of foreplay. Men can get hard at the drop of a hat. Wouldn't you want your partner to be satisfied? I know If I'm doing something wrong, I want to know. Although, its much clearer on men. If they're not hard = not doing something right. Oral pleasure can be a wonderful thing for both people involved. I know sometimes I feel like my orgasms don't come quick enough but the more you become uptight about it, the longer it takes. And men, its all about location, location, location. If you notice your woman is breathing a little faster or her legs are starting to tense up, DON'T STOP what you're doing. One movement can lose the momentum you worked so hard for. Faking orgasms isn't fun or fair. Woman are more outspoken now than ever before so don't let it stop in the bedroom. Tell your man what you want. He really needs to know.

by Lori-Woodall  923 Posts 

Posted on 11/12/2008 10:08 PM
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Tags: faking orgasms , orgasms , g-spot
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Comments for "Faking orgasms"  (89) (You must be logged in to answer)




Then I must need some bananas too, because my legs used to tighten up in that postion to!!  I guess I need to start taking yoga - since I'm hearing about all these different positions out there, so I better get limbered up--guess I've been deprived all this time--DAMN!!! :)
by freedom   1011 Posts
Posted on 12/4/2008 6:26 PM
0





It doesnt matter what position it is...my legs always get tight just before.....you know......I thought that was normal. Even my bf gets leg cramps sometimes. Maybe eating more bananas would help...I hear the potassium is good for that. Hmmmmm, thats a thought.
by Lori-Woodall   923 Posts
Posted on 12/4/2008 12:03 AM
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Very good suggestions by Bugaboo!!! I agree with him 100% and those would have been suggestions that I would given.

There are also wedge pillows that can help alleviate some of the stress (sorry, don't have any of those on my site, but I will be suggesting it very soon!).

Another thing, as he suggested, is having your body be more at an angle. Rest your head on a pillow and have your pelvis at a high angle - it's quite comfortable for most women actually.

One wayyyyy out there suggestion is a specialized swing, which would let him do most of the work and leave you feeling like you are floating on air. The swings can help with other positions as well, but it's not something that has to be used by any means!

Oh, there are so many ways that can help alleviate the stress of doggy-style, and some of them just take a little bit of imagination and openess to think outside of the box!
by Aimless   1058 Posts
Posted on 12/3/2008 11:10 PM
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OK you got my attention now!! ;) I'm taking notes too!  Get the pad and paper NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)
by freedom   1011 Posts
Posted on 12/3/2008 10:34 PM
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LOL...thanks...I took notes;-)
by Lori-Woodall   923 Posts
Posted on 12/3/2008 10:29 PM
0





Um, huh.  I knew I would regret opening my mouth!!  :o) 


I do have a few suggestions Lori, but I imagine some of them would not be all that appropriate to post here.  That being said, I will suggest a few that aren't too inappropriate, assuming you really want to know and aren't screwing w/ me. 


I imagine your legs are getting tight b/c of the position, and that you are not used to it.  You are most likely getting tired and your legs are beginning to cramp.  Back to the ole sports analogies, you might want to consider stretching those hammies a little before beginning.


Another idea would be to take a wider stance so-to-speak.  That will probably alleviate some of the tension on your legs.


One more idea if your knees also bother you might be to put a couple firm pillows under your upper shins to relax the knee pressure a little.


One last idea to help relax the legs would be to have your head below your butt.  In other words, but up, head down on the bed.


Well, that was about the best I could handle sharing over this site.  It would seem a little odd to say much about the sexual side to me, sorry.  I hope what I said helps to some degree. 

by buggaboo   1172 Posts
Posted on 12/3/2008 8:38 PM
1





Thanks for the info Aimless....thats great in informational.

 

Buggaboo....I have a hard time concentrating on my knees. My legs gets so tight just before. I have never had one in the doggy position.

Any suggestions?

by Lori-Woodall   923 Posts
Posted on 12/3/2008 4:30 PM
0





Just a word to the women who believe they can only orgasm in a certain position, or if a certain activity is happening just right.  False, false, false, and shame on you for getting into that mindset, believing it, and sharing it.  My stbx tried to get in that mindset a few years back.  I decided to debunk that as quickly as possible! 

You may find that you regularly orgasm in a certain position, yes.  You may find that other things are not working, yes.  Once you start believing that is the only way, you are right, it will become the only way.  However, I assure you it is not, and I challenge each and every one of your men or future men to teach you otherwise!  My stbx thanked me later, if you know what I mean. 

I think you begin missing out on several things once you decide this is the only way I can orgasm.  If that is what you insist on, or won't allow yourself to be challenged otherwise, then ok.  But I guarantee you it is not the only way. 

Oh, and before I get crucified, I don't mean just the run of the mill orgasms.  I mean the big mama's too. 

Alright ladies, have at me (verbally that is ;o).
by buggaboo   1172 Posts
Posted on 12/3/2008 1:27 PM
0





By the way...I just found this information from my company's website regarding the topic of vibrators and nerve damage. This is quoted straight from their sexual health experts and was recently updated (last month) with all the newest information they have - take it as you will, but I trust the Kinsey Institute myself...

"We have not been able to find any credible research on this phenomenon. However, we have heard health care professionals "warn their patients" of the horrible dangers of the vibrator, but have been unable to find any evidence based research to back up their words of caution. If a woman misuses a vibrator by holding it directly on the clitoris for an extended period of time, she may temporarily lose sensation (like when your leg falls asleep) but the sensation will return. Some doctors may recommend that their patients should avoid over-using a vibrator, because they don’t feel comfortable with the ins and outs of using bedroom accessories for pleasure. Even after checking with The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, they have not found evidence that vibrators cause nerve damage. What some women may notice is that the use of a vibrator may become monotonous. Just like with any other pleasurable act, if you do the same thing over and over again it may not be as effective. Just like when the missionary position may have been enough for you and your partner at the beginning of your relationship, after some time passed you may have wanted to “spice things up.” If this is the case, maybe try a different type of vibrator. If you have been using a bullet consistently and it isn’t having the same effect, try one with different textures, vibrations, or a vibrator that has rotating beads as well. Maybe pair your vibrator or bullet with a heightener to add to the sensation you are feeling. Remember that the human body can get used to a certain sensation or activity, so keep changing things up to maximizeyour pleasure!"
by Aimless   1058 Posts
Posted on 12/3/2008 1:03 PM
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I totally agree...my bf loves to use toys on me or watch me use them. Not necessarily BOB...there are things out there I actually prefer over BOB. Having both together is quite the turn on. However, I wouldnt choose a toy over a man that knew what he was doing. Im too passionate for that.

by Lori-Woodall   923 Posts
Posted on 11/24/2008 9:57 PM
0





Well- I have to say that using a bob has allowed me to orgasm faster. I have become more familiar with my body and what works...I had never met bob until a few years ago when a boyfriend actually bought me mine.
I have been told that some women prefer them to a man because it gets the job done quicker. But I would have to say if it is preferred to a man then- the man is not doing what he is supposed to. I know that it DOES indeed get the job done faster BUT to trade it for the caresses and one on one with a man I love is a no contest. But to add the two together is awesome!
by mtnvly   3539 Posts
Posted on 11/24/2008 9:51 PM
1





Thank you so much Aimless for doing the footwork. Im going to check this stuff out when I get home from work. And Gomez, her logic was she was faking it with you, so calling out someone elses name was ok or she faked it with the person who's name she called out so you werent supposed to take it personal? Either way, thats crap.
by Lori-Woodall   923 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 1:46 PM
0





Yes Gomezz I would have been concerned...It was wrong of her to hurt you in that way...Some people have no quoth.
by bleedinglovepain   760 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 1:08 PM
0





I ask the same question. hmmmmmm was taking a ride around the track and she was screaming a  name  buttt it was not my name she was screaming. When I ask her about it she said it was ok because she was faking  it. Should I have been concerned.
by Gomezz   732 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 12:55 PM
0





I have asked OB/GYN's also (male AND female) to come to my conclusions. Flyby, I don't think it's worth a huge argument over, but I study sexual health and educate both women and men in a non-professional setting. I have researched this even more in detail since you posted your knowledge/insight/theory/proof (questionable) and this is simply not true. Here are some links so you, and anyone else, and see my actual proof...I have more to post if you need more information.
http://www.xandria.com/learn/sexuality-questions/sexuality-question/will-using-a-vibrator-make-her-clitoris-less-sensitive.html
http://www.mypleasure.com/education/qanda/questions/7.asp
http://howtousevibrators.com/not_working.htmlhttp://howtousevibrators.com/not_working.html
http://www.sexhealth.org/bettersex/vibrators.shtmlhttp://www.sexhealth.org/bettersex/vibrators.shtml
About the only time that 'taking longer to climax' happens with a vibrator/masturbation is when you have actually had an orgasm and then try again within a short amount of time (hence men waiting about 20 minutes before they have another orgasm and normally take longer to reach their 2nd orgasm).

Using a vibrator will not necessarily 'deaden' the nerves, but the body becomes used to that sensation and trading up to fingers or actual oral sex (which is in direct contrast to your theory) will do better than a vibrator!!!

Also, medication used can cause the exact same problem you are describing, such as antidepressants and such.

I
by Aimless   1058 Posts
Posted on 11/20/2008 12:47 PM
0





Wow.  The things I learn here.  Never have faked it with my husband.  Sex was never a problem for us.  I did fake it sometimes for an extremely insecure ex-boyfriend.  I just did not feel like dealing with his pouting and keeping score.  Trying to explain to him that sex could be enjoyable for me without an orgasm got me nowhere.  His insecurity caused problems throughout our relationship and I left him.  I mean, good grief.  Hate to be unromantic, but sometimes I got tired and just wanted to end things and go make myself a sandwich.  
by meteor   488 Posts
Posted on 11/19/2008 10:47 PM
0





Touche'...nice response Eric. You sound like a very wise man:)

www.singleparentsunite.blogspot.com
by Lori-Woodall   923 Posts
Posted on 11/19/2008 10:28 PM
0





Ok..this is soooo simple.

Enjoy foreplay!  Only "get it on" AFTER she orgazms the first time... No need for BOB then..

Just my humble opinion.
by EricD   133 Posts
Posted on 11/19/2008 10:13 PM
0





Amen to that one...
by Lori-Woodall   923 Posts
Posted on 11/19/2008 10:00 PM
0





Oops....left out the word "wrong".  There's nothing wrong with taking longer to climax.
by 2much42long   3031 Posts
Posted on 11/19/2008 9:34 PM
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And there's something with taking longer to climax?  I don't think so.  All the more time to have fun, and all the more satisfying in the end.
by 2much42long   3031 Posts
Posted on 11/19/2008 9:33 PM
0





I have to say I'm going to take my chances of my BOB damaging my nerve endings--cuz I'm not gonna stop using BOB!! :)  The higher the setting the better if you ask me!! :)  Just bought some more batteries today--in bulk too!!!
by freedom   1011 Posts
Posted on 11/19/2008 7:47 PM
0





Well, I havent seen any proof flyby, just word of mouth by the women you have been with. Send me a link to your facts and I would be more than happy to read it. I believe Aimless is correct though. I dont have an orgasm during sex either unless Im on top. That would be like saying dont have too many orgasms or your vagina will stop working. Men jack off way more than women masturbate, in most cases, and they can still have orgasms.
by Lori-Woodall   923 Posts
Posted on 11/19/2008 7:44 PM
0





Great theory, but no facts, Ask you OBGYN if the use has any effects...since I know several, I have asked and they say it the same as if men self masturbate...they become less sensitive. Good luck with whatever method you use.
by Flyby   35 Posts
Posted on 11/19/2008 5:31 PM
0





Thank you Aimless...Great post!!!
by Lori-Woodall   923 Posts
Posted on 11/19/2008 3:55 PM
0







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