OK with it all finally 

Acceptance that this is really happening and I have to take control of what is going to happen in the future and that he is really an idiot.  It did not take me a long time to figure that one out though.

Grief is pretty much gone.  I am no longer at the point where tears are controlling everyday life.  I still wonder everyday how the ex is doing and then reality kicks in and I wounder why I am wasting my energy on that thought.

I never thought that I would get here.  But here I am and I am still alive and my life is blessed with friends and family who love me and support me everyday with what ever I need.

Looking forward from a visit from my parents.  It has been over a year since I have seen my dad (in Canada) He has been sick, so I am glad that he will be coming.  They are going to spend a month with me and our kids.  I can't wait.

Have tickets to a concert in Raleigh this month too.  The boys are really excited, they are jumping with joy.  I love to see that. 

I never in a millon years thought I would be among the divorced people in this world.  Forever and vows the whole thing has really been the staple of my existence.  I guess I need to find a new focus.  Time to focus on the divorce now that my head is clear and my emotions are not running wild with anger and resentment.  Although...He is about to have a fight on his hands.  I can be a force to be reckoned with, I know this.  I also know that I do not give in that eaisly....I have put on the armor and have made the appointment for legal separation first.  Then the plans for divorce can come when ever he is ready for that.  He is broke, so of course he wants me to pay for everything.

It will be alright in the end.  It is wether or not I take control of the situation or give it to him.